sealed in

life of a boot camp instructor chronicled.... with some side issues and maybe a lil bit of humor here and there....

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

happiness and sadness

singapore causes me a roller coaster of emotions...... everything i love and hate in both extremes is here.. and do they hold me close....... the bane of my life - army.... but the colleagues-in-suffering and good friends i've made there... dragonboating, running, stingy and gossipy relatives, friens and family in shanghai, everything.

with great sadness and joy i shall take my leave on the 8th

fare thee well.......

Sunday, November 20, 2005

the thoughts dissipate

and yet i still come out unsatisfied..... perhaps im just too restless or something... need something to do with my time...... maybe i cant just settle down into a routine or do the same single thing every single day..... somehow...... i gotta find something to rejuvenate myself and refresh myself......

jus go la........ wad am i still waiting for

Thursday, November 17, 2005

can any man be an island?

watched about a boy recently and then went in between 2 quarreling couples (each couple was seperate of course) but it had me thinking: could i replicate hugh grant's character for me to be single and alone totally for a long while?? since i have no luck with gals anyway...... hahah realli realli bad luck........ so admist all e tensions and becoming a conversation moderator...... maybe i'll favor the bachelor life.........

but fuck that......... cud never survive being a hermit anyway.........so i guess e search still goes on........ if i actualli go out and actively search in e first place tt is........

Thursday, November 03, 2005

the lightbulb

this is the best way to make yourself feel so very alone among a group of friends......... be the lightbulb. get urself tonnes of beautiful couple frens too while ur at it too....... never made u feel so left out and alone somehow...... deres always that feeling that somehow the absence of ur presence is much much better to the entire picture...... NONONO not that i resent the couples..... after all they (or at least one of the party is) usually one of my very close frens......
it dosent completely ruin your trip (thank god) but somehow u feel something is missing......... and u have the need to just go off and be alone...... since u are already alone in the first place......

oh nevermind.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

am i tt gina?????

met yuan at the australian college fair today....... her mom commented that i looked very gina (young)!!..... lol maybe i'd look older if i let grew a goatee or sth........ guess my boardshorts and berm wid skateshoes wearing days are over........ she thought i hadnt gone thru army yet too.... hahah oh wells.......... and thanx to fat gal yuan for saying that im short oh so loudly....... now i have a reputation......... sighs...... FAT FAT FAT!!!! yuan is FAT lol........ not lyk she see's my blogspot...... oh yea good idea i think i'll go put that on her xanga now.... revenge!
the great journey for 42km per week continues.........

Friday, October 07, 2005

the love and hate of the feet part 2

my last post had some pple confused...... i dont hate running........ jus the feeling that comes with it..... ur lungs gasping for air..... the sweat flowing from ur head and somehow all being channelled to ur socks (that shud draw a 'yeesh' from the audience).... every part of ur body aching....... i love running.. its how i destress.... take my mind of the day's woes and troubles (probably im too much in pain to think of other things =P)..... its another way we push our limits...... how much milage ur feet can go be4 u drop down...... spent and exhausted..... or the challenge of the distance given in the race to u....... for most of us mortals wid normal lungs jus completing a marathon is an achievement on its own........ was reading about those in the states who competed in ultra marathons - known to reach 1000 mile races over days....... and when u think about it..... wads 42km....... its nuthin...... jus a step.........

and so i will...... take tt 1 step on 4 dec......... in e meantime.... i gotta learn how to walk....... everyday....... 8-10km.... somedays... u just hate it....... 'wtf am i doin on e road wid a stopwatch?? i wanna sleep...' but if i stop.... even just once..... i wudnt think i'll be able to take that step come dec........

Monday, September 12, 2005

love/hate relationship - you and your feet part 1

lately my passion for running has been looked down upon by other people........ guess its due to its torturous nature.... u gotta have physical stamina to keep up the pace over the long distance and the mental strength to keep goin all the way.... and not just give up or slow down the pace and maybe meet the timing another day..... one friend asked me that all e stamina i train up - whats the point in the end......its lyk okay u got lotsa stamina, SO? another declared it was so fucking boring!!! u dont do anithing else but run run run!! are there different styles of running? those questions kinda shook my foundations for my chosen sport...... wad the fuck am i doin running so far and go for better timings.... kum lan!? (for fuck!?)...... wads more i gotta discipline myself to set aside time to train - wake up early in e morning...... prepare ur stuff to run...... den torture your mind and feet throughout the training........
well i'll stop here for now......... sth to ponder on before i come up wid my full answer....... is all the running really worth the sacrifice of leisure time and social time??